Counting Our Many Blessings

I have always believed that sometimes God sends me what I like to refer to as "wake up calls". These have come to me in various ways over the years. A gentle reminder that I need to focus on the wonderful blessings He has given me. And while it is definitely humbling for me to admit, I have gotten off track a bit the past few months. I would venture to say, perhaps all of 2009. It hasn't been the easiest of years for me and I was finding myself wallowing on a fairly regular basis. Focusing on all of the things I had lost instead of putting all of that energy into the wonderful, priceless things that I do have.. first and foremost being my beautiful family. I would go through the motions but with lack of emotion. Now this was not happening all of the time persay, but definitely enough that I did need a "push".
Two weeks ago, Carter woke up.. and like every Wednesday morning, we were all scrambling to get ready. I dressed him, still half asleep, scooped him up and off we went. On the way to preschool, it became apparent that he was one sick little guy. He could not bear his own weight, sit up without tumbling over, or grasp things in his little hands. He was functioning basically as an infant. Just the night before we were running in the yard and I was trying to get him to slow down. My medical instincts kicked in and I knew this wasn't just a flu bug but that something was going on with his neurological system. Over the next few days, he had to go through so much :( Blood draws, IV's, MRI, and a spinal tap. Nothing can bring a mother to her knees faster than seeing her baby go through so much and facing the unknown...it hits you like a ton of bricks to your very core. Nothing else mattered in this entire world... I was finding myself bargaining, pleading, and begging God to please please let everything be ok. I was so angry with myself for the night before.. why had I not just let him be a 3 1/2 year old boy and run like the wind? I was so frightened that would be the last time he ever was able to do that.. maybe a little overreacting on my part, but what if.... Words cannot begin to describe the relief that came over all of us when we were given the news that everything was going to be ok. Carter was diagnosed with Acute Cerebellar Ataxia. Despite the scary symptoms, it is a benign disorder that resolves completely over the course of a few weeks to months in most cases. Of all the scenerios we were facing, this was the best case scenerio. He has made tremendous progress over the past week and the doctors see no reason why he shouldn't make a full recovery.
I want to say a special thank you to all of my friends and family for being our rocks.. Lord knows that we needed many :) Your support, love and prayers means the world to us. Thank you for being so patient with me, for lending me your ears, arms and heart as a soft place to land.
I'm not certain, God, if you read blogs :)... but I do know that you "read hearts". Thank You for all you have given me.. Thank you for the 5 beautiful, fantastic, intelligent, priceless gifts you have placed in my life. Thank you for letting me watch them run like the wind. Thank you for tiny hands that can carry 6 hotwheels at a time. Thank you for giving me the honor and ultimate privelege of being their mother. Love- One very greatful, very humbled, extremely lucky Mom